Friday, May 28, 2010
DISCUSSION QUESTION #2
Elizabeth is furious with Darcy for breaking up the match between Jane and Mr. Bingley. Although he initially defends himself, she changes his mind. Later when Lady Catherine attempts to interfere in his own courtship, he describes this as unjustifiable. Should you tell a friend if you think they're about to make a big mistake romantically? Make sure you use what the book has to say on the subject to your answer. Make sure you use what the book has to say on the subject to your answer.
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I think if a friend was going to make a big romantic mistake, I would try to tell them what they are doing is wrong. I would only do that if the person was a cheater or a very bad person.
ReplyDeletePlease relate your answer back to the book.
ReplyDeleteIf I felt that a friend was about to make a honest mistake romantically I would feel as if it was my job to warn them against their actions. However, the mistake would have to be completely legitimate. In the case of Darcy and Mr. Bingley, Darcy claimed that Jane did not feel as passionate as Mr. Bingley simply based off of observation. He never had proof of how she felt yet room it into his own hands to come between them. Darcy at the time felt that it was a necessary action but later learns of his mistake. Had he had proof of Jane's feelings his reasoning could have been legitimate. Later on in the novel when Lady Catherine tries to force Elizabeth not to marry Darcy she does so in hopes of promising her own daughter a better future. To Lady Catherine, who normally gets what she wants, her actions were justified but in reality it shows how selfish she was. Darcy had a right to feel offended by Lady Catherine's actions because although his actions weren't justified at all he had a better reasoning than she did. If anyone in the novel deserved a romantic warning I believe it should have been Lydia. Someone should have warned her about Wickham before she left home.
ReplyDeleteI believe it depends on the situation whether or not you should tell a friend they’re making a huge romantic mistake. In Pride and Prejudice, Darcy breaks up the match between Jane and Mr. Bingley, because he truly felt Jane’s feelings weren’t as strong as Bingley’s. Mr. Darcy knew that Mr. Bingley loved Jane very much and he felt he was just protecting him from someone who did not feel the same way. However, Mr. Darcy was completely wrong in his judgment of Jane’s feelings and those misjudgments almost cost his friend a happy marriage. Jane was merely shy and modest; she loved him just as much as he loved her—maybe even more. After Mr. Darcy learned of his mistake, he tried his best to correct it. This situation shows how confiding in a friend’s love life can turn a little sour. Lady Catherine’s situation is quite different. In her eyes, she believes Mr. Darcy’s engagement with Elizabeth is completely wrong. When Lady Catherine looks at Elizabeth, she only sees the difference in class and her family’s connections and reputations. Lady Catherine is a woman of wealth and believes her nephew should only marry that way. Lady Catherine truly thinks she is doing the right thing. She doesn’t believe in marrying for love but only marrying for wealth. Her attempt was unsuccessful though, so it did not cause real harm. It really depends on the situation. Mr. Darcy could have kept his thoughts to himself to avoid a jumbled mess, but for Lady Catherine, it did not matter either way.
ReplyDeleteEvery situation is different and I believe it to be the same way with relationships. If my friend was about to make a huge relationship mistake I would first make sure that they were by observing and talking to them. I wouldn't want to make the same mistake that Darcey did by breaking up strong love between Jane and Mr. Bingley. If I was in Darceys situation I would have done more gathering evidence and talking to them both. In the situation with Lady Catherine, she didn't want Darcey to marry Elizabeth because she was of a different status of wealth than him. I would never say that my friend couldn't marry because of something like this because love is way more important than wealth or social status.
ReplyDeleteI would not warn my friend that they were making a mistake romantically unless I had solid proof that my warning was in the best interest of my friend. Darcy believes that separating Jane and Mr.Bingley is the best thing for his friend, but he does not gain solid proof before taking action. Darcy acted on his belief that Jane had no real feelings for Mr.Bingley based on his observations. Darcy had no idea what exactly Jane felt for Mr.Bingley but he acted anyway. This premature intervention causes Darcy much regret later in the novel because he realizes the mistake that he made. In Lady Catherine's situation, her attempt to stop love was not to look out for a friend but to protect her family. Lady Elizabeth came from a background of wealth and wanted her daughter to marry into wealth as well. Lady Catherine was not trying to save Darcy from a bad relationship like she claimed. Her real motive was to keep Elizabeth from ruining her plan of one day marrying her daughter off to Darcy. These examples from the novel both show that unless it truly is the best thing for a friend relationships should not be interfered with.
ReplyDeleteIf a friend of mine was about to make a big mistake romantically and I had proof that it would be a mistake, then I would feel the need to tell them my reasoning on why it was wrong. It is always a touchy subject when one tries to stop another from a romantic decision. That is why you should have fool-proof evidence of why the decision will be a mistake. Darcy's interference in Jane and Bingley's relationship was not legitimate; he only sought their break-up because he thought, not knew, that Jane didn't love Bingley as much as he loved her. However, he did later learn that he was mistaken and took responsibility for his actions. Lady Catherine, on the other hand, didn't want Elizabeth and Darcy to get married because she wanted her daughter to have him. This interference was based on jealousy and pride, two things you should never use to make a decision. Neither of these interferences had good reasons, but in the right situation I would tell a friend about a mistake they might make romantically if I had evidence and good reasoning.
ReplyDeleteAs everyone else has already stated, if I were to confront a friend about making poor relationship decisions, I would first need a definite reason backed up with facts and proof before I interfered. Messing with other people's business can either go well or go absolutely horrible, so it is important that you understand the person you are about to confront. In the situation of Mr. Darcy trying to break Jane and Bingley up, this was absolutely wrong of him. Yes, he was trying to look out for her best interests, but he made the mistake of thinking that Jane wasn't going to be faithful to Bingley.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to warn a friend if they are going to make a huge romantic mistake because it could help them avoid a major disaster. When Darcy tries to "warn" Mr. Bingley of Jane, though he did not have solid proof and that was a bad time to try and help, he had heart on helping a friend, that was a friend trying to be helpful and it was justifiable.
ReplyDeleteJust like what everyone else said, if a friend of mine was about to make a bad romantic decision, I would warn them, as long as I had good proof. Darcy did not have proof before his actions between Jane and Mr. Bingley. Darcy only believed that Jane didn't love Mr. Bingley as much as she says. Darcy later regrets his intervening. Lady Catherine only intervened in Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship because she wanted her daughter to marry Darcy. Neither of these situations had good reasons to intervene in relationships.
ReplyDeleteIn any situation, a person should do what’s best to prevent their friend from being hurt. However, that person cannot make assumptions about their friend’s relationship or stick their nose too far in their friend’s business. Darcy felt that by breaking up Jane and Bingley he was doing something good. Since Jane’s feelings toward Bingley weren’t as strong as Bingley’s feelings toward Jane, according to Darcy, the relationship was bound to collapse. Darcy, however, simply made this assumption and failed to have all of his facts straight before interfering. In any relationship, an outsider never knows as much information as the two people actually in the relationship. Relationships are a private matter and should be dealt with with the utmost respect by others. Mr. Darcy had the right, as a friend, to give Bingley and hint or advice about Jane, but did not have the right to literally break them up. Depending on the situation, a person should be able to advise their friend if they believe their friend is making a big mistake romantically; but, that person should never cross the line by becoming physically or emotionally involved.
ReplyDeleteif i knew for a fact that my friend was about to make a huge romantically mistake i would like it's my job as a friend to tell them, even if they didnt believe me or listen to me. The reason Mr.Darcy breaks the match up is because he stronlgey felt like he was protecting Mr.Bingley from getting hurt by Jane, who Darcy thought did love him but not as much as he loved her. Although he ended up being wrong it was only that Jane was shy, Mr.Darcy realized that and tried his hardest to fic it. He just wanted the best for his friend.
ReplyDeleteMr. Darcy takes Mr. Bingley to London breaking up the relationship of Bingley and Jane Bennett. Darcy believes that Jane does not love Bingley and Darcy hopes to save his friend the heartache. Fortunately, Darcy closely observes Jane and realizes that he made a mistake and tells Mr. Bingley that Jane truly is in love with him. I do not believe one should tell a friend they are about to make a big mistake romantically. Darcy does not understand the relationship between Bingley and Jane and interferes under false assumptions. Lady Catherine wants to stop the courtship between Elizabeth and Darcy because she is concerned about the social class difference. Outsiders in this novel are unable to look past social barriers and understand the value of gentility, humility, and selflessness.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are the most sensitive things to get involved in. Darcy didnt see any harm as to break apart the bond that was being created between Mr. Bingley and Ms. Jane Bennet but Darcy as the friend he was saw doing this action as a favor to his good ole friend Bingley. Any friend no matter how close should never become to involved in a relationship only advice should a friend give nothing more. Darcy along with many people today act before they think cause a good deal of harm and possibly permenant damage to a friends relationship but in this case Bingley and the beautiful Jane Bennet reunite and reestablish what they had for eachother.
ReplyDeleteIf i knew my friend was about to make a romantic mistake i would try to advise them againt it. I would have them think about the consequences. However, it's their own decision, but i would definately try to hep them against it.Darcy interfered in Jane and Mr. Bingley's relationship not realizing that he is completely wrong in doing so. He believes Jane does not love Bingley, but later he observes them together and ralizes the mistake he made. Even though Darcy's mistake did not prevent Jane and Mr. Bingley from their happy ending in the story, he very well could've ruined their relationship by taking Mr. Bingley to London. I would advise a friend against a romantic mistake because it could turn out really bad for everyone.
ReplyDelete